Thursday, August 9, 2012

PMCPP Has Moved On To Greener Pastures!

I mean, it's not like this site got many readers to begin with -- thanks to the 21,000 or so of you who stopped by since 2007, of course -- but it's clear that I was never actually going to do anything with this blog. Now that I'm getting paid to write on the internet for a living, I figured it was time for a change.

With that in mind, check out PaulCantPlayPiano.com, a wonderful new blog I'll actually be updating weekly for reals this time! No longer just a blog that is making fun of Paul McCartney in a tongue in cheek manner, I'll now be doing musical analysis of all sorts of shitty pop songs.

Hope you'll join me over there, and thanks for reading this train wreck while it lasted!

Monday, July 30, 2012

London Olympics 2012: At Least Paul McCartney Plays Piano Better Than He Sings These Days

Just popping in to post this monstrosity from the 2012 Olympic Opening Ceremony.
Jesus fuck, Paul. It sounds like he's singing with a mouth full of marbles. I enjoy the assertion that some people made suggesting he was lip syncing that. You don't think they could have taken that sad song and made it better in post if the old man was lip syncing that?

The better, better better scream was especially hilarious. You could hear his vocal cords bracing for impact.

Saturday, February 4, 2012

PMCPP PRESENTS: Carry That Weight

CARRY THAT WEIGHT
PMCPP Analysis #25
KEY: C Major (With a brief interlude in A Minor)
RHYTHM USED: Ba-Dum

I'm back here for my bi-yearly post! Seriously, I keep forgetting this thing exists. Ideally I can actually finish all of this off before Paul dies. (Hint: Stop making records, Paul.)

THE PIANO: Well we already did Golden Slumbers way back in 1993 or something so we might as well get to this one 32 years after the fact. It's actually quite similar to Golden Slumbers except for the fact that the key has been swapped back to C Major from A Minor and the song is about 5 seconds longer. Also, unlike Golden Slumbers, the song sucks.

Paul actually did a pretty good job of hiding the piano in this one, probably to hide the fact that at the only musically interesting part of the song, the piano stops playing. It's a basic ba-dum rhythm on the C Major and G Major chords, with very minor movement of the hands between the two chords.

After the easy as hell C/G part, it goes to a cool section in A Minor that calls back You Never Give Me Your Money with a couple of nifty chords. Of course at this point, the piano stops and only horns start playing.

After the part of the bridge where there's actual chordal movement he goes back to randomly having a seizure on the keyboard and hitting it as hard as he can as much at intervals that only he can decipher. Basically if Paul was Thelonious Monk on cocaine, he would have produced that piano part. (This analogy only works if you pretend that Monk didn't know how to play piano.)

LAZINESS IN SONGWRITING: Well, once you get past the fact that the actual song part of Carry That Weight only has two chords (the I and the V chord, if you're wondering) you realize that over 1/3 of the 1:36 long song was pretty much directly lifted musically from You Never Give Me Your Money. I suppose it's a nice little callback, but the part of the song that was lifted is literally the only interesting part of the song.

The actual song proper is simply the C and G chords being repeated over and over with the clever lyric of 'Boy, you're gonna carry that weight, carry that weight a long time' over and over. You'll notice a bit of a motif here in which Paul likes to do things over and over. I wish I was getting paid five dollars every time I said 'over and over' over and over, you see. (Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo?)

The song is basically two of those 'Carry That Weight' sections sandwiching the stolen section. I suppose that we can't fault Paul for dragging it on way too long like he's been known to do with other songs (Hey Jude, anyone?) but it's still pretty shit.

HOW PAUL GOT AWAY WITH IT: Well it IS only a minute and 30 seconds long. I guess Golden Slumbers and The End are better songs so it's not on your mind too long either.

NOTE:

This series and blog is totally tongue in cheek. I really do love Paul McCartney.